Saturday, December 02, 2006

the parallel world

Today I passed my 5th kyu test in aikido. After the test, Sensei told me before the whole class, "Anu, I'm very impressed with your rolls. You roll fabulously well now. You should be very proud of yourself for rolling so well."

I've been trying this forward roll for about 6months now. I've broken my finger and toe bones trying to get it right. I also in the process developed a fear of falling as the broken bones were taking time to heal. Plus my left hand has the surgery necessary to do dialysis. They have stiched my veins so that the veins can be pricked with huge 21 guage needles and the dialysis can take place. Now if the surgery gets damaged, I can't take dialysis and then I can't live (according to the doctors). So I've been nervous about falling on my hand during the rolls and hence I've been flopping on the side like a sack of potatoes. I've been practicing the rolls since then very diligently during the dojo sessions.

Today I'm very happy with myself. I'm very proud of my accomplishments. I'm developing more trust in my body and its abilities. I love my aikido practice and presently it gives me the greatest joy on earth and heaven. I love it for the love of doing it. There is a certain delight and glee I feel when I am on the mat.

I'm so comfortable in this world of martial arts, of ninjas and black suits, of climbing trees and flying in the air, of kungfu techniques and aikido rolls, of knights and horses, of samurais and swords...a parallel world in which I live and I'm very happy.

Even though I know I'm not doing it all right and perhaps may never do it right. But is the spirit of it. That spirit runs through my blood. Yes! its in every drop of my blood...runs through my veins...

80 Comments:

Blogger e.e. said...

Ahhhh! I think I am going to call you little miss Ninja girl now, instead of little miss anu!
What do you think???

Special warm hugs to you from Boston!

8:05 AM  
Blogger Caterpillar said...

Congratulations beautiful Anu!!! I love this post because I'm reminded of a number of times you wrote about those rolls and your trouble with learning them - but you always made yourself keep a positive attitude overall, and you kept with it and just never gave up, kept going back even when it wasn't easy - and now you roll beautifully!!! I think you are a bit of a butterfly, too! :)

Oh - and I just sent a special message to the butterfly queen over in India and she's going to be giving you a kiss on your cheek from me and sprinkling magic butterfly dust over you!! :)

11:51 AM  
Blogger Caterpillar said...

Congratulations beautiful Anu!!! I love this post because I'm reminded of a number of times you wrote about those rolls and your trouble with learning them - but you always made yourself keep a positive attitude overall, and you kept with it and just never gave up, kept going back even when it wasn't easy - and now you roll beautifully!!! I think you are a bit of a butterfly, too! :)

Oh - and I just sent a special message to the butterfly queen over in India and she's going to be giving you a kiss on your cheek from me and sprinkling magic butterfly dust over you!! :)

11:51 AM  
Blogger Caterpillar said...

Woops! It just wasn't working so I pressed the button again and ta-da: a double comment from me!!! :) It's because you're wonderful and fabulous!!!

11:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi!! Long time. In case at some point in future you need a kidney, u can have mine. Its been lovely reading you......... thanx.

5:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, that's right Anu, it "is" about the spirit of your practice, not it's perfection. May you blossom forth continually.

12:21 PM  
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Blogger dr.alistair said...

hello little ninja.........
how nice it is to fly free in space without a care, if only for moments at a time.

and then do it again.

it is the contrast that makes it special.

1:35 PM  
Blogger e.e. said...

Where have you been little miss ninja?
I've been worried and miss you very much.

I hope you are well.

8:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sorry to be the bearer of very sad news:
it was reported on another blog
http://giardinodelpiacere.blogspot.com/ on her entry dated December 20 that Anu was killed in in a car accident on 12/10/06.

I am grieving with you all -
Jenn W

2:54 PM  
Blogger Memphis Steve said...

They tell me that you died in a car accident last week. I just got here and found you to be someone special. I hope that you are in Heaven for Christmas. I don't know what else to say.

12:32 PM  
Blogger Tiffanie said...

I've spent most of the day reading your archives. What a lovely, beautiful soul. Some of your words have touched me deeply, have given me hope, and I feel touched by you.

I believe in eternal life and I believe this message will get to you.

12:48 PM  
Blogger dr.alistair said...

she lived her life right. she did what she wanted. the deep sadness i feel is but an indulgence. she`s not suffering.

9:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I enjoyed reading all the aikido daily in life information on your site. You can check out my aikido daily in life site if you like.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I enjoyed reading all the aikido dojos information on your site. You can check out my aikido dojos site if you like.

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Blogger MrManicDepressive said...

I'm going to miss you my dear. I hope you have the best seat in the house on the other side. Until we meet again, this time in person.

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Blogger WDKY said...

I miss you, and think about you often, Anu. Much love xxx

11:03 AM  
Blogger e.e. said...

I miss you too, my friend.
Please find my baba and take him for a walk for me.
Love,
e.e.

11:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

miss you, came back today (29th may 07) to say hello........

in tears !!

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Blogger In exile said...

hi dear........... u know what !! i have joined aikido classes, i wish u were around !!!

(5th july '07)

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Blogger WDKY said...

Just one of those when I wanted to stop by, my darling...

Miss you x

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12:17 AM  
Blogger e.e. said...

Missing you very much so again.
I saw a wonderful sunrise this morning... and thought of you.
Hi.


Love, e.e.
9-13-07

10:30 AM  
Blogger John said...

Thinking of you today as I published the latest Sethnet Journal.

((((HUGS))))
John

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Blogger Creating Humus said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

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Blogger e.e. said...

Missing you, my friend.
I am praying for our spirits every single day.

Love, e.e.

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Blogger e.e. said...

Baby, I need a miracle.
Pray for me.

8:51 PM  
Blogger e.e. said...

Baby, keep on dreaming.
I love you and miss you.

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Blogger WDKY said...

I couldn't stop by at one and not the other, could I?

:-)

T x

11:31 AM  
Blogger e.e. said...

Happy Birthday, child.

I saw you in the moon the other day.

Love, e.e.

Sept. 08

5:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday my sweet darling! I love talking to you every day but I miss having your physical presence to hug and exchange emails with.

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Blogger do bigha zameen said...

remembering you during aikido practice

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I still think of you every day and love you with all my heart sweetie. :)

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I hate that the comments have been spammed.

Anyway, I left you just a little post to mark you passing, my darling. I'll always love you.

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