Saturday, December 02, 2006

the parallel world

Today I passed my 5th kyu test in aikido. After the test, Sensei told me before the whole class, "Anu, I'm very impressed with your rolls. You roll fabulously well now. You should be very proud of yourself for rolling so well."

I've been trying this forward roll for about 6months now. I've broken my finger and toe bones trying to get it right. I also in the process developed a fear of falling as the broken bones were taking time to heal. Plus my left hand has the surgery necessary to do dialysis. They have stiched my veins so that the veins can be pricked with huge 21 guage needles and the dialysis can take place. Now if the surgery gets damaged, I can't take dialysis and then I can't live (according to the doctors). So I've been nervous about falling on my hand during the rolls and hence I've been flopping on the side like a sack of potatoes. I've been practicing the rolls since then very diligently during the dojo sessions.

Today I'm very happy with myself. I'm very proud of my accomplishments. I'm developing more trust in my body and its abilities. I love my aikido practice and presently it gives me the greatest joy on earth and heaven. I love it for the love of doing it. There is a certain delight and glee I feel when I am on the mat.

I'm so comfortable in this world of martial arts, of ninjas and black suits, of climbing trees and flying in the air, of kungfu techniques and aikido rolls, of knights and horses, of samurais and swords...a parallel world in which I live and I'm very happy.

Even though I know I'm not doing it all right and perhaps may never do it right. But is the spirit of it. That spirit runs through my blood. Yes! its in every drop of my blood...runs through my veins...