Wednesday, November 08, 2006

the Porsche

I've always been taught since childhood the virtues of being simple and humble. Perhaps that is one of the reasons I've not had many desires. But maybe that is also one of the reasons I've been really desperate with the ones I have. I'm just wanting those wants to happen and manifest in my reality so badly, for those are the only ones I've 'allowed' myself to ask from myself.

I've been quiet in the last few days, hardly posting anything anywhere because I've been thinking. I've as a result uncovered some beliefs about myself which I did not know. Once we notice the beliefs we're acting on, it uncovers a lot of information about ourselves to us. And this is the begining of a change in a new direction.

Now as a result of this trying to understand myself syndrome, some changes are happenning inside of me is what I gather.

Today morning when I woke up from sleep and switched on my computer, I saw this amazing wallpaper on the desktop.
A Porsche...and she looked so breath-takingly beautiful. I could not take my eyes off her. And for the first time in my life, for the very first time, I thought to myself, "Hey, I should have that car. The Porsche would look so good with anu seated on her lap."

I felt this magical feeling from this want. The energy felt so pure and fulfilling unlike my past experiences where my desires have always generated desperate, foreceful and discontentment feelings in the present. This time I feel empowered to go and fulfill my desire. As if I was telling myself, "Its parked right there anu, your Porsche, come and drive it away."

It feels lovely and wonderful to have desires especially when it feels like you're desired item is just made for you and is waiting for you. Something in me is changing. Perhaps I'm begining to allow myself to recognise my desires and reach out for them.

I don't know much about cars. But I love this car. I love that I've this desire to ride in it and that it feels so strong as if I already have the Porsche. It is making me extremely happy and joyful. The Porsche itself seems to say to me that she will delighted to carry me in her arms around. I don't know how I can do this. She will probably be costing a bomb. But right now that does not seem to matter to me. I'm not thinking of the hows or whys or whens, it just feels like my desire is just waiting to manifest...

and I'm feeling, very soon..I'm going to drive this Porsche away...

45 Comments:

Blogger Leslie said...

That's weird. My boyfriend and I were playing Need for Speed for the first time a few days ago. :)

7:23 AM  
Blogger Caterpillar said...

I love so much how you say, "The Porsche would look so good with anu seated on her lap." It would!!! And I love that you are maybe starting to recognize your desires and that you can do anything you want to do!!!

12:36 PM  
Blogger anu said...

LOL! how interesting is that, Leslie. I hope you liked the poem darling e.e. wrote just for you ;)

My sweet butterfly, thank you very much for your comment. And how happy am I to read that about those lovely hands which explore you :)hugssssssss

10:56 PM  
Blogger openeyes said...

I love this post.

2:50 AM  
Blogger WDKY said...

I loved the bit that Cat loved too :-)

Anu, darling, we all "want" things - sometimes it also happens to be things we need, sometimes it doesn't. I'd say your Porsche falls into the former category for sure, so start saving ;-)

1:55 AM  
Blogger anu said...

Thank you Open eyes.

Yes, It is time to welcome abundance in my life, wdky.

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